JBaehr3
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Name: JQ // <3
Gender: Female


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Member Since: 9/27/2006
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Thursday, November 12, 2009

I aint been doin to right since I met her last night.
Some kinda burnin' breakfast, lost at work state of mind.
We're meetin here because
She mentioned that she loves,
This kinda sushi, veggie, raw and edgy natural stuff.
I'm feelin' out of place, but baby's on the way.



Christopher will be home tonight!!!
I Love Love Love Love Love him!!





Wednesday, November 11, 2009






I, not events, have the power to make me happy or unhappy.
Today I can choose which it shall be.
Yesterday is dead, tomorrow hasn't arrived yet.
I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in it.
















Twenty minutes of meditation after my work out
helped me to get my head on straight.

I needed to let my mind go mushy for a while.
I feel fresh. I feel new. I feel a new start.
Getting my life, my body, my education,
my work schedule and my relationships all in line.
Tomorrow is a brand new day.







Tuesday, November 10, 2009



What's not fair is that you act as if your life has ended. Be sad. Be angry. Shit, be anything, but don't ever behave so reprehensibly towards the people who clearly love you. Have your emotional crisis, but don't cut them out. Fucking things up once in awhile is inevitable. But how you choose to deal with those fuckups is not fated. You have free will, and be grateful that you do. Now. Move on, and find a better way of dealing with your issues.





 
Do you ever wonder? I mean, about us. What happened? It was almost as if our relationship was a piece of paper--crumpled up and thrown away. Forgotten. What might have happened if we didn't crumple it up and throw it away? Maybe we would still be together. Maybe not. Or maybe secretly we haven't thrown it away yet. We're saving it cause we're hoping maybe someday we can pull it out of our pockets and rekindle what we once had. Or maybe it`s not even that we want it back. Maybe it`s just that we don`t want to lose what we had, but at the same time, we already know it`s lost;. I wonder that a lot, and I wonder if you wonder sometimes, too.






It's been almost three years,
and I'm still waiting for you.



But seldom do these words ring true when I'm constantly failing you. Like walls that we just can't break through until we disappear. So tell me now if this ain't love, then how do we get out? Because I don't know. That's when I said, "I don't hate you boy, I just want to save you while there's still something left to save.."





Monday, November 09, 2009



My only solace these days. <3
My beautiful little solace.








I hate everything there is to hate about myself.
I am disgusting. My skin is gross.
My teeth aren't perfect.

I am too tall. My shoulders are too broad.
My hips and thighs are amazingly thick.
My ass is big and fat and dimply.
I weigh way to much. My BMI is fucked.
I have every eating disorder that exists.
I don't work out as much as I'd like.
I stress about school. I work too much.
I don't sleep enough. I don't rest enough.
I am not funny anymore. I've lost all my friends.
I regret my career choice, and am tired of class.
I hate everything I've become. I hate this life I lead.
Nothing make sense. Nothing feels right.
All mistakes and regrets that I'll dwell on.




























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